Monday, September 22, 2014

Some things.

Just two short years ago, this blog was born. Since then, it has grown and died and grown and died again. It's on life-support, currently.  What a dramatic, short life, but would you expect anything else from me?

Happy birthday!

Those cupcakes were from the Beyonce brunch I went to yesterday. I suppose there was no better way to celebrate my blog's birthday than by celebrating Beyonce. What is a Beyonce brunch, you say? Well, it's basically 2 hours of Beyonce's videos accompanied by Beyonce-themed dishes, such as the Blue Ivy French Toast and the Upgrade U cocktail (a mimosa with sugar on the rim). Back Bay Harry's was brilliant to come up with such an idea. I'd like to recreate it at home with better eggs.

Here are some other things I've been doing when I am not writing ever:

  • going to weddings
  • throwing up on the side of the road after those weddings
  • picking apples
  • making cookies
  • yelling about football
  • winning fantasy every week* #bowdownbitches
  • knocking on wood 
  • watching a lot of Netflix
  • dreaming about Kit Harington
  • avoiding dating 

I did go on the worst date ever a few weeks ago (hence abstaining from any others), which I've been debating telling you all about since anything I say would amount to public shaming. But as Anne Lamott once said...

"If people wanted you to write warmly about them,
they should have behaved better."

So maybe you'll get lucky.

Oh, also, I'm going to be a dragon for Halloween. I'm not quite sure how, since I have minimal-to-no crafting skills, but it's going to happen.

*Editor's note: I just realized my opponent has a player playing tonight, so I spoke too soon about winning fantasy every week. #fingerscrossedbitches

Monday, September 15, 2014

Things I learned this weekend

1. I had the most spectacular dreams about Kit Harrington last night.
2. I asked him if I could call him "Jon", and he said yes. What a good guy.
3. Unfortunately, my alarm clock vagina-blocked me.

4. I think I can get on board with Catholicism when one of its major pillars is drinking.
5. Jesus is the original frat boy. People ran out of wine and he was like, DON'T WORRY, BRO, I GOT THIS.
6. If you're invited to a wedding with a plus 1, bring a good dancer and all the middle-aged women at the reception will come up to you and express their envy.

7. If throwing up on the side of the road is any indication of a good time, then the wedding I went to this weekend was the best.
8. My night started spiraling out of control when my friend called me from outside and said, "I can see you eating a cupcake."
9. When the reception is over, stop eating cupcakes and go home.

10. I'm not sure what I would do without such amazing friends. Special thanks to Cory and Lauren for making sure me and my phone got home safely.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


I'm not surprised by Ray Rice's actions. I'm not surprised by the NFL's non-reactions. This has been going on in the NFL, in America, for decades. Women are abused and we turn a blind eye. People are shot. Children are raped. Dogs are killed. And we pretend it didn't happen. We cheer for these men. We award them trophies. We put them in the hall of fame.

The gross number of people who are blaming Janay don't understand the complexities of domestic violence. More so, they don't understand how they have been groomed to victim blame. Janay Rice, who was punched in the face by her then fiance, is blaming herself -- that shouldn't excuse Ray Rice's behavior, that should make it all the more disturbing.

It s saddening that she feels the need to excuse and defend the man who beat her. It's saddening, but it's not surprising. It's not surprising when her husband is so threatening he is violent. It's not surprising when her husband is the one continually supported and protected by the very rich and powerful men of the National Football League. It's not surprising when thousands of fans have also come to his defense. The fact that this woman feels the need to defend the person who has brutalized her is a troubling result of our culture, a culture that puts the responsibility of abuse on the victim. Janay is not unlike the girl who is raped at a party and feels like it is her fault because she had been drinking. Women are told over and over again that it is their fault.

If you want to feel truly sick, search Ray Rice on twitter and read all the thousands of tweets from men and women across the country who agree that it is her fault. We all saw the video tape, and yet we can find a way to justify Rice's behavior? If so, then Rice isn't the only one responsible, here. We are, too. We are also responsible if our reaction to that tape is to blame the person who was knocked unconscious and then dragged across the floor by the man who loves her.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Book Thief*

Last night, I finally felt like I lived in Allston: I waited 45 minutes for the bus, a building down the street from mine was on fire, and someone stole my mail.

In all seriousness, the fire was terrifying, a 9-alarm blaze that lasted hours. Luckily, no one was seriously injured, but now roughly 50 people are homeless. I am currently browsing the internet for renter's insurance.

Back to more selfish things, I am enraged about this mail theft, you guys. I preordered the How Sweet It Is sure-to-be amazing cookbook, Seriously Delish, which I believe she may or may not have signed for me.

If you don't know, Jessica of, is one of my favorite bloggers. Her writing is real and accessible, and her food is beautiful and decadent and, more importantly, always covered in cheese. Well, my copy of Seriously Delish was said to be delivered to my apartment yesterday, but I didn't receive it. Apparently, someone signed for it using the name "Jeshall". Um...

So yeah, I'm pissed. If I don't get my MF book back, I'm going to kick some ass and/or leave another passive aggressive note in the mail room that says:


*Misleading title.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Things I learned this weekend

1. When hiking, it's pointless to try to get the view in the background of your selfie. Just look at it instead.

2. If you go to a cookout with MIT students, you'll hear things like, "Paramecium are the sickest cells. They have fucking tails."
3. I am considering having children just so that I can justify doing things like riding a carousel and going down slides as an adult.

Failed attempt at art.

4. After living here for 6 years, I finally visited the Boston Harbor Islands. They are lovely.

5. On Georges Island, my friend and I met a Hispanic family that spoke absolutely no English but were adamant about sharing their crabs with us.

6. All the periwinkles were dead.

7. Are those actually called periwinkles, or did I make that up?
8. The Landing segregates its drinks.

9. When you live in Allston, you overhear people saying things like, "His alcoholism is charming."
10. I am proud to publicly (and alliterately) proclaim that I love Ariana Grande's album. All of it.