1a. Some guy I met in line for the bathroom guessed that I was 27 and then said, "No, there's no way you're that old."
2. Since I graduated, UNH has become infinitely nicer but also less fun.
3. And/or I think everyone does coke now instead of binge drinking. Kids these days.
5. The room I lived in for 2 years was deemed "unlivable" right after I graduated, so I almost definitely have some lingering disease.
6. College was absolutely the fattest time of my life, mainly because I lived in a sorority house with a kitchen that was fully stocked with chips and macaroni & cheese and cookie dough at all times.
6a. This made our house the most popular place to be at 3 am.
6b. The way to a guy's heart (penis) is through his stomach.
7. Now, my sorority locks the refrigerator, which only has yogurt in it anyway. I guess they're concerned about health or something.