Another Valentine's Day, I went on a first date with a big black sailor who later called me and said, "I'm bisexual," to which I responded, "Excuse me?" To which, he responded, "Just kidding!" And I was like, "That's not a real joke, so."
I also once got two presents from two different guys and cried because I didn't want to date either of them and I was scared of hurting their feelings. I'm probably the only girl in America who has cried about getting multiple gifts on Valentine's Day. Asshole, I know.
Despite all this, I actually really like Valentine's Day, mostly because I appreciate any time where it is not only socially acceptable, but also encouraged to binge eat candy and desserts.
It's also yet another reason to put Boo's face on a card and send it to everyone I've ever met and also some people I only know from the internet. So look forward to that.
*That's sorority for a "formal" party, or by anyone else's standards, an absolute shit show.