I've been having a lot of problems with clothes lately. First there was the ski pant tragedy of 2012, and then I was BRUTALLY ATTACKED by a dress at TJ Maxx.
I was really gung-ho* about wearing a sequinned dress on New Year's Eve, but little did I know that they are basically made of knives. I tried a few on and ended up with abrasions all over my body -- my legs, my stomach, even my boobs. Luckily no one sees those. Ever.
The lady in the dressing room was laughing at me while I stood there crying. Fucking rude. That shit was so painful. ABRASIONS, I said. Since when is shopping so dangerous? I feel like writing to Calvin Klein to let him know his clothes are actually weapons.
*What does this even mean?