The problem with food is that it makes you fat. And people don't like fat, I guess. Well, unless you're super trashy and on TLC and then they will literally pay money to look at how fat you are.
What is wrong with me? How, as a human being, could I like to eat so much? Oh well. I don't think I'll be stopping anytime soon. Eating is probably my greatest talent. In fact, some people would call me an expert. For example, Klout.com says I'm influential about cheese. And you thought you had a lot going for you.
Anyway, I've heard rumors that it's possible to eat and not be fat. I know that's a far-fetched idea, but I'm thinking about testing it out. And, if that doesn't work, I'm blaming my friends.