Thursday, September 13, 2012

Just making sure you guys know I go to the gym.

In an ironic turn of events, I went to the gym this morning and then couldn't button my pants in the locker room. This made me panic for 2 reasons:

  1. I did not have time go back to my apartment to get a different pair of pants before work, and
  2. I worked out and then got fatter.

Then again, I did just buy a Reese's pumpkin for an afternoon snack, so that could explain number 2.

Anyway, I know I've talked about this before, but women do the most ridiculous shit at the gym. For example:
  1. Holding onto the treadmill while they run. This is dangerous and dumb. If you need to hold on to something to be able to run, you're not doing it right.
  2. Looking at my RPMs during spin class. Bitch, eyes on your own paper. Am I right?
  3. Bringing their entire life with them and spreading it all over the locker room. This will never cease to annoy me.  First of all, half the reason I pay to go to my gym is because the locker room is not only nice and clean, but also equipped with everything you'd ever need: towels, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, Q-Tips, hair dryers, etc. etc. Yet, so many members pack up their whole fucking bathroom and bring it to the gym with them. No, I'm sorry you cannot use this counter because it's occupied by my wet loofah and every other toiletry I've ever purchased. This morning I watched a pair of girl friends try on MULTIPLE outfits for each other and then pick out necklaces from the JEWELRY BOX one of them brought with her. JEWELRY BOX.
This type of crap drives me crazy. Obviously, when I go to the gym, I do it perfectly in every way. That is why I have this perfect body. And why I can judge everyone else's behavior. 


  1. A BOX OF JEWELS!!! Crying. I want to ask a bigoted question but I will bite my tongue.

  2. A gym visit is incomplete unless I can leave fully accessorized wif mah weave in tact.


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