Sunday, November 27, 2011

Death by Plastic

A couple weeks ago I had a panic attack about plastic. I've been really good about bringing my lunch to work every day ever since I took the Food Network's Brown-Bag Challenge in September (yes, I do things like that). But for the past few weeks, as I heated up my healthy lunch in its Tupperware container, all I could think about was how the plastic was seeping chemicals into my food that I would soon eat that would soon give me cancer that would soon MURDER me. Death by plastic. Hence, the panic attack. 

So, I went out and bought myself a set of glass Pyrex containers and I've been professing the good word to anyone I see eating or drinking out of plastic. For example, I watched my friend drink a bottle of water and told her, "You're going to die."  I know they appreciate my concern.

Anyway, just as I was getting over my fear of plastic, Brian tells me this:

Apparently canned goods are even worse than plastic. This news sent me into a(nother) downward spiral. I not only panicked that my soup was surreptitiously plotting my death but that my cat was sure to die soon, too. I started transferring his canned food into Pyrex containers. I eventually realized that this wasn't going to do any good. 

Realistically,  I can't eliminate canned goods from my life. A lot of my favorite things come in cans --beans, tuna, PUMPKIN. I may love baking, but I'm not fucking making my own pumpkin puree*.  I'm poor; I don't have the kind of technology needed for that in my kitchen. Actually, my roommate did recently supply us with a food processor but I don't know how put it together so I never use it.  It's like a god damn jigsaw puzzle with knives. Anyway, it's not going to happen. Ever. I will continue to make BPA-filled baked goods and kill myself and all of my friends. 

The thing is, I worry about shit like this yet continue to drink every day weekend. It's not breaking news that alcohol is linked to life-threatening diseases, but I somehow find ways to ignore that. Obviously, I use some backwards thinking. Once my mom asked me why I wouldn't drink milk. I said, "Because I refuse to drink my calories." She responded by pointing to the beer in my hand.

*I'm sure my friend Kyle is thinking this is pathetic of me. He once called me a "microwave mom." I hated him for days.


  1. Plastic in the freezer has the same effect. I used to love putting bottled water in the freezer to use as ice in my cooler that doubled as drinking water later. No more!

  2. It's nice to know other people are worried about the plastic cancer.


I would love to hear your comments unless you're an international spammer. Sorry.